WELCOME SUMMER!

To start out its been almost 2 weeks of no facebook and I only think about going on it maybe once a day.. It was bad a first ha ha..

It is officially summer now!!!!! We have already been to the beach which was so fun, we spend about four hours there. The water was a whopping 60 degrees burrr!!!!! We had fun playing in the sand and enjoying the sun that is for sure!

I have this week off of work so we have been relaxing around the house, baking, cleaning all the fun stuff you can do only indoors because it has been raining :( Joey and I made banana muffins and bread yesterday he had so much fun, some how we ended up with flour all over the counters.. hmmm ha ha


We have also taken advantage of our little town and all the fun things that it offers. Last summer we were so busy with the wedding and court along with joeys surgery that we hardly stepped foot into town. This summer is different, we have already took advantage of the street performers. I packed a dinner for the kids kelly and I (jason was working late) and we went down town. What a blast! we saw a few magic tricks, music, stilt walking and its all for donations oh we did pay a dollar
for a balloon animal :) What a great way to spend time with the kids and it was almost free!!!!!

We have also taken advantage of our amazing surroundings and went on a few bike rides! Makayla went on a 3 mile bike ride on her own bike! I was very surprised!!!

We also had our last day of school!!! We officially have a kindergartner a 3rd grader and a 5th grader!!!! Holy cow a fifth grader... I am officially TO YOUNG  to have a 5th grader! 

Thats it for now, kids are up and wanting breakfast!

Thinking..

Thinking about deleting my facebook....

I am so interested in digging deeper in God and getting to know him on a deeper level.. If I focus on that as much as I do facebook... imagine what could happen, There is a song that I have fallen in love with that made me think of how much I crave god and what I want to know more about him.. I posted the music video of that song.

Holy spirit..

"Holy spirit you are welcome here, come flood this place and fill the atmosphere. Your glory God is what our hearts long for to be over come by your presence Lord"

A Good Mother?

How do you know if your doing enough? How do you become somthing you weren't raised to be? I feel like im the odd one out in my family, in the ways I raise my kids.. my faith the way I am even a mother. I know they say you take alot from your parents in the way you raise your children... what if you don't want to? what if you want a total difference?

My mom and I have a what the word I would call it.. unique? realtionship? We hardly talk and if we do it ends up in a fight about something, I think my anger mainly comes from the way she treats my kids and myself. she holds some of her kids on a pedastol and others way on the bottom of the chain. For example I have three step children thats right they are STEP. We have full custody and I honestly don't even think she could name them. She doesn't care about them. The thing I don't understand is my dad took the 3 of us in and took us as his own. I asked my mom this summer if she could help out with daycare by watching the kids one day a week for me. Her answer was no, she was already watching my 2 sisters other kids.... drama drama drama..

Not My Month..

Once again alot of time has passed and once again I didn't follow my new years resolutions...

Spring break has come and gone, Disney World was everything and more that I thought it was. Funny that I was there years ago and don't remember much, it was like a whole new experience. We stayed for 5 days and the house was beautiful we all had so much fun. Day 1 we went to animal kingdom and it was okay... the kids didn't enjoy it at all but that's okay. Makayla was terrified of the bugs life 3D show, Probably the funniest thing the whole trip ha ha we ended that night with going back to the house and playing in the pool. Day 2 was magic Kingdom and what an amazing day that was! we were there before the park opened till it closed. BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. Makayla went to bippity boppity boutique and the boys went to the pirate league. Day three we went to Hollywood studios I think and that was good we had fun. Day four was magic kingdom again to meet the characters and shop more because the last time it rained so all the rides had such short lines thats all we did  that day. Last day was epcot and the food was amazing!

In my personal life I started metformin right before vacation I am up to 850mg three times a day and the side effects were horrible at first but now my body is used to it. My cycles are still off and I just want a normal period, I lost 15 pounds so far so I hope that might help. I feel so alone with the whole trying to convince. I have so many emotions and no one wants to listen. I know it sounds selfish but really.. I have never wanted something so bad and I can't even figure out why its happening or who I can talk to about it. I was really excited last night because I thought I might actually be pregnant and then bam! this morning cramp city.. aunt flow is on her way so that's another month down the drain. I don't know what to do or who to talk to about how down I feel about it. I feel like its my fault like I'm doing something wrong. I added myself to some PCOS groups on facebook and its almost like its a click and I'm not inclucled. I want to give up.. but then I don't because I am just in the beginning.. but then how far do I really want to go.. I feel as low as it can get right now because I wanted it to be this month.. I thought it was going to be this month...