Not My Month..

Once again alot of time has passed and once again I didn't follow my new years resolutions...

Spring break has come and gone, Disney World was everything and more that I thought it was. Funny that I was there years ago and don't remember much, it was like a whole new experience. We stayed for 5 days and the house was beautiful we all had so much fun. Day 1 we went to animal kingdom and it was okay... the kids didn't enjoy it at all but that's okay. Makayla was terrified of the bugs life 3D show, Probably the funniest thing the whole trip ha ha we ended that night with going back to the house and playing in the pool. Day 2 was magic Kingdom and what an amazing day that was! we were there before the park opened till it closed. BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. Makayla went to bippity boppity boutique and the boys went to the pirate league. Day three we went to Hollywood studios I think and that was good we had fun. Day four was magic kingdom again to meet the characters and shop more because the last time it rained so all the rides had such short lines thats all we did  that day. Last day was epcot and the food was amazing!

In my personal life I started metformin right before vacation I am up to 850mg three times a day and the side effects were horrible at first but now my body is used to it. My cycles are still off and I just want a normal period, I lost 15 pounds so far so I hope that might help. I feel so alone with the whole trying to convince. I have so many emotions and no one wants to listen. I know it sounds selfish but really.. I have never wanted something so bad and I can't even figure out why its happening or who I can talk to about it. I was really excited last night because I thought I might actually be pregnant and then bam! this morning cramp city.. aunt flow is on her way so that's another month down the drain. I don't know what to do or who to talk to about how down I feel about it. I feel like its my fault like I'm doing something wrong. I added myself to some PCOS groups on facebook and its almost like its a click and I'm not inclucled. I want to give up.. but then I don't because I am just in the beginning.. but then how far do I really want to go.. I feel as low as it can get right now because I wanted it to be this month.. I thought it was going to be this month...