Sunday, January 9, 2011
So true!
Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you forever.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Interview.. and Hedley
He called.. Why do I love that call? lol.. men
So two things have happend since last blog..
1. Braden slept in his big boy bed AND the crib is down! whoop, That was a huge step and im so excited about that.. so what if I have to sit in the hall for a hour while he falls asleep.. ITS A STEP!
2. I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW in a CHILDCARE CENTER! holy geesh! I am so excited for that, ican't wait to get myself back into a center feel and Ill have days off!
okay there is a 3rd too... I fell inlove with a band I just found... its called hedley I have been jamming there music all day :)
So two things have happend since last blog..
1. Braden slept in his big boy bed AND the crib is down! whoop, That was a huge step and im so excited about that.. so what if I have to sit in the hall for a hour while he falls asleep.. ITS A STEP!
2. I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW in a CHILDCARE CENTER! holy geesh! I am so excited for that, ican't wait to get myself back into a center feel and Ill have days off!
okay there is a 3rd too... I fell inlove with a band I just found... its called hedley I have been jamming there music all day :)
Friday, January 7, 2011
One day,
I was browsing facebook when I came across a post my friend made and Idecided it was agood idea so here i go,
One day, One day I will become who I always wanted to be, One day I will be a friend,One day ill be that one person everyone can depend on when they are in need, One day I will become that dependable teacher and educator I have always wanted to be, One day I will find the man who makes my dreams come true someone I can depend on and trust, Someone who puts me first with no other intentions, One day I will put myself first and forget what other want, I will do what is best for me. One day I will put my life in order again and live happy once again, One day I will Be that wife that I want to be so dearly and that leads to the one day I will be the mother that I have always dreamed of being, I will be successful with a beautiful family and be happy. One day I will see what god had planned for me and look back and laugh, One day I will be me.. once again. One day I will find my place in this place called life and know what I was ment to do. One day I will find love.. family...marriage and trust once more... one day.
One day, One day I will become who I always wanted to be, One day I will be a friend,One day ill be that one person everyone can depend on when they are in need, One day I will become that dependable teacher and educator I have always wanted to be, One day I will find the man who makes my dreams come true someone I can depend on and trust, Someone who puts me first with no other intentions, One day I will put myself first and forget what other want, I will do what is best for me. One day I will put my life in order again and live happy once again, One day I will Be that wife that I want to be so dearly and that leads to the one day I will be the mother that I have always dreamed of being, I will be successful with a beautiful family and be happy. One day I will see what god had planned for me and look back and laugh, One day I will be me.. once again. One day I will find my place in this place called life and know what I was ment to do. One day I will find love.. family...marriage and trust once more... one day.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
He never called..
Thats all.. he never called..
on the upside of life a guy told me this tonight
on the upside of life a guy told me this tonight
HIM......Let's be honest here.
HIM...The internet has given someone an over developed sense of self worth.
ME.....whats that supposed to mean?
HIM.....It means you're fuckin ugly.
HIM......Like not even sort of.
HIM......I mean you're actually ugly.
wow.. this year is starting out amazing.. !!! can you hear the sarcasm?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
DORA!
jump and fall
Hey guys.
So one follower.. really?!?
Has anyone heard the song jump then fall by taylor swift.. I have fallin in LOVE with that song. It talks about a guy and how she just wants her to jump and fall into her.. and she is there for him no matter what, Don't be afraid just jump and fall into me. It makes me smile just thinking about it. One day that will be my song, I have so much love and no one to give it to.
Brooke is sick again, It makes life hard when you have a 1 year old who is sick.. and how ironic that she only gets sick after a big snow fall.. Do I take that s she doesn't want to go outside.. oh how they learn young! She started walking finally!!! Thank you lord! she only does it when we don't watch but everyone in a while we turn just in time to see her walk across the room and we all flip out. She is our baby! I can't believe she is going to be one soon!
Braden is inlove with toystory.. I don't know if there is a rehab program but he needs one, Thanks to santa he has a FULL ROOM of toystory from a new bed to table and chairs.. bed set.. wall hangings.. he loves his yyyeeeeehhhhaaaa! room lol that kid cracks me up!
Its snowing here like crazy, I am so happy I want to take the kids out so bad, Braden hates the snow at first but he worms up to it :) brooke hates getting everything on for it but I think its cute!!!
Still pretty confused in life, I don't know whats going on.. i have so many decisons to make and I don't know if I want to make them.. that sounds like a little kid thing to do but its true, I have to start my life over.. I did so well the first time and threw it all away for a guy.. who does that? I still don't get that.. So now I have to make choices for my life, WHAT DOES APRIL WANT? I haven't asked myself that question in years. What do I want? Do I want to stay where I am.. do I want to move? Do I want to find a differnt job? Do I want to find my own place? I don't know what I want to do.
I have decided to make a choice and take a trip to saginaw and flint to visit a few friends and go shopping next month, I have never went on my own trip before.. should be interesting...
Here are some pics from the last few days, The first one is brooke, She is adorable! then it goes to braden, I can never get a good pic of him! then its goes down to betsy and I she is my new really good friend, (I met her in the bar) I think I told everyone that story, Then its just me :) I took that pic really fast after i did my hair this morning... the next photo is of me and bri and the fun things about that photo is that we took the same photo on her 18th birthday.. and we are almost 24! how exciting!!! the last photo is of me right before i left for the nut cracker ballet :) enjoy!
So one follower.. really?!?
Has anyone heard the song jump then fall by taylor swift.. I have fallin in LOVE with that song. It talks about a guy and how she just wants her to jump and fall into her.. and she is there for him no matter what, Don't be afraid just jump and fall into me. It makes me smile just thinking about it. One day that will be my song, I have so much love and no one to give it to.
Brooke is sick again, It makes life hard when you have a 1 year old who is sick.. and how ironic that she only gets sick after a big snow fall.. Do I take that s she doesn't want to go outside.. oh how they learn young! She started walking finally!!! Thank you lord! she only does it when we don't watch but everyone in a while we turn just in time to see her walk across the room and we all flip out. She is our baby! I can't believe she is going to be one soon!
Braden is inlove with toystory.. I don't know if there is a rehab program but he needs one, Thanks to santa he has a FULL ROOM of toystory from a new bed to table and chairs.. bed set.. wall hangings.. he loves his yyyeeeeehhhhaaaa! room lol that kid cracks me up!Its snowing here like crazy, I am so happy I want to take the kids out so bad, Braden hates the snow at first but he worms up to it :) brooke hates getting everything on for it but I think its cute!!!
Still pretty confused in life, I don't know whats going on.. i have so many decisons to make and I don't know if I want to make them.. that sounds like a little kid thing to do but its true, I have to start my life over.. I did so well the first time and threw it all away for a guy.. who does that? I still don't get that.. So now I have to make choices for my life, WHAT DOES APRIL WANT? I haven't asked myself that question in years. What do I want? Do I want to stay where I am.. do I want to move? Do I want to find a differnt job? Do I want to find my own place? I don't know what I want to do.
I have decided to make a choice and take a trip to saginaw and flint to visit a few friends and go shopping next month, I have never went on my own trip before.. should be interesting...
Here are some pics from the last few days, The first one is brooke, She is adorable! then it goes to braden, I can never get a good pic of him! then its goes down to betsy and I she is my new really good friend, (I met her in the bar) I think I told everyone that story, Then its just me :) I took that pic really fast after i did my hair this morning... the next photo is of me and bri and the fun things about that photo is that we took the same photo on her 18th birthday.. and we are almost 24! how exciting!!! the last photo is of me right before i left for the nut cracker ballet :) enjoy!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Time to think for myself
I honestly don't even know where to start on this blog.. so im just as always going to type and see where it leads me.
Christmas ill start there.. It was christmas for sure! The stress was high and I think our family has lost what the meaning of christmas is.. this year is was go go go and we fought most of the time. We forgot why we have christmas and what we should be thankful for.. I hope this new year we grow closer together as a family and get over everything that is stopping us. Our family christmas was good I got everything I wanted :) Santa was good to me this year.
David and i broke up.. BIG SURPRISE right? not really rebound I think I don't know but i made the choice to stop it before feelings were hurt.. which was good because we went into this relationship with out a title because we didn't know if we would work out or not.. and well it didn't we have two different personalities and it just didn't click. so im single now and finding myself which im happy with because I need to do that.. I need to get settled in Holland and start my life before I start something else.
New years was .. alright I was invited to a friends house and her husband played call of duty while we sat had our new years drinks and Chinese and watched girly movies, I am so thankful for her and her family. We sat around the house and napped the next day because I was up till 5am and her kids were up at like 7ish.. I know we weren't thinking but it was fun and her kids were really good the next day so we got to relax.. there nap time was OUR nap time.. her and I put a movie on and. .. we fell asleep not long after. The 2011 has been good so far.. I was so happy to leave 2010.
So this year.. This year I will get back into the child care center its my passion.. I love it so much and I put that on the back burner.. Not again.. not anymore I have put my resume into a few teaching positions and I hope I get a call because i really really really want to get back into that. Its what I do.. Its who I am. I used to be a lead assistant at a child care center for 3 years and i loved it! the lesson plans.. the kids.. the families! i can't wait to do it again. Also I was thinking.. Do I move.. should I stay? where should my life take me this year? Im single.. young.. full of life.. I can do this!
Weight loss... im at 210! whoot When I started in oct I was almost 240 pounds!!!!! Ican't believe this I have never made it under 220 while loosing weight (note to self stay off the DEPO shot) 2 years ago I was a healthy 180 pound girl .. thick but not fat and i loved it i WILL get back to that.. and i will stay off the depo shot .. after being on the depo I jumped up to 230 with in months.. wow!
I have been playing this song called "yours alone" from skillet... My friend rob said it makes him think of me.. and I love it! Him and I never dated be we have always been close.. Since Ive been single we have talked more and I have learned even more about him and I like it.. we are not dating at all just friends but shhh i do like him.. have liked him. We hung out a few months before i moved to ohio and we lost touch but thanks to that good ol facebook we reconnect about a year ago. Even being single.. im happy.. this year is going to be a good year.. I am sure of it..
Christmas ill start there.. It was christmas for sure! The stress was high and I think our family has lost what the meaning of christmas is.. this year is was go go go and we fought most of the time. We forgot why we have christmas and what we should be thankful for.. I hope this new year we grow closer together as a family and get over everything that is stopping us. Our family christmas was good I got everything I wanted :) Santa was good to me this year.
David and i broke up.. BIG SURPRISE right? not really rebound I think I don't know but i made the choice to stop it before feelings were hurt.. which was good because we went into this relationship with out a title because we didn't know if we would work out or not.. and well it didn't we have two different personalities and it just didn't click. so im single now and finding myself which im happy with because I need to do that.. I need to get settled in Holland and start my life before I start something else.
New years was .. alright I was invited to a friends house and her husband played call of duty while we sat had our new years drinks and Chinese and watched girly movies, I am so thankful for her and her family. We sat around the house and napped the next day because I was up till 5am and her kids were up at like 7ish.. I know we weren't thinking but it was fun and her kids were really good the next day so we got to relax.. there nap time was OUR nap time.. her and I put a movie on and. .. we fell asleep not long after. The 2011 has been good so far.. I was so happy to leave 2010.
So this year.. This year I will get back into the child care center its my passion.. I love it so much and I put that on the back burner.. Not again.. not anymore I have put my resume into a few teaching positions and I hope I get a call because i really really really want to get back into that. Its what I do.. Its who I am. I used to be a lead assistant at a child care center for 3 years and i loved it! the lesson plans.. the kids.. the families! i can't wait to do it again. Also I was thinking.. Do I move.. should I stay? where should my life take me this year? Im single.. young.. full of life.. I can do this!
Weight loss... im at 210! whoot When I started in oct I was almost 240 pounds!!!!! Ican't believe this I have never made it under 220 while loosing weight (note to self stay off the DEPO shot) 2 years ago I was a healthy 180 pound girl .. thick but not fat and i loved it i WILL get back to that.. and i will stay off the depo shot .. after being on the depo I jumped up to 230 with in months.. wow!
I have been playing this song called "yours alone" from skillet... My friend rob said it makes him think of me.. and I love it! Him and I never dated be we have always been close.. Since Ive been single we have talked more and I have learned even more about him and I like it.. we are not dating at all just friends but shhh i do like him.. have liked him. We hung out a few months before i moved to ohio and we lost touch but thanks to that good ol facebook we reconnect about a year ago. Even being single.. im happy.. this year is going to be a good year.. I am sure of it..
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