Another enters the gate of heaven

Yesterday I woke up early.. make-up hair and kids ready all on time, I got to work on time and was enjoying my day. Lessons were done... everyone had a pretty good day too. We had a pretty bad snow day day and the weather was horrible... Then I got the phone call no one wants. " Grandma hasn't been breathing for 5 minutes" 20 mins later you get the phone call that she didn't make it. Last night I was shocked at first.. and then the tears were flowing with out me crying if that makes since.. just tears falling... first time in a while I cried myself to sleep. I know she is happy and she is dancing the angels.. She is with her parents and her husband, who wouldn't want that? She is the last grandparent to live.. The only one to see me get married.. now she is gone and we are left to heal, mend and move on.. Its strange to know her house will be gone.. that she will be gone. My kids wont get to know her and share memories like I did. If I could talk to her one more time it would go something like this.

Dear Grandma,

I want to start out by saying how much I love you. I know I wasn't around as much as you wish I could have been but know you were always in my thoughts. I have so many memories of us that I am hanging on with both hands so tight, I don't want to ever let go. I will always remember how you could never use a camera, do you remember how many cameras you went through???? then when digital game around it was a loss cause! I will always remember coming to your house for summer birthdays and holiday through out the years and playing on that HUGE play place. I will remember us sitting on the back deck and just enjoying our time together.I loved how you were so in love with Elvis, He will always and forever hold a special place in my heart because you were so in love with him. Ray brought that up last night minutes after you passed into heavens gates. 

    I am so blessed to have you in my life and that you made it to my wedding. I know it was hard for you but you made it and I will never forget it. I am happy you are in heaven smiling down and you are with Jim, You guys must be so happy to be together again. What it must be like there I will know someday. I just can't say enough how much I will miss you and how much I love you. ... I think you know how much you mean to me... Please if god ever graces me with a baby.. hold it and leave a mark on it.. I know you and everyone else are helping my life form into what it should be. 

Love you more then you know

April

As much as I heart.. im okay.. I have gotten used to people dieing.. I feel like it started to early in my life and hasn't stopped like it should anyway. Its a way of life right? Now its time to put on my face.. wipe the tears and be strong for those around me..

On crazier note.. my sister deleted me on facebook, Will this drama ever end? I am supposed to be the bigger person but I have to put up with a child.. hmm.. My mind is to busy thinking about my grandma to worry about such pitty acts..

untill tomorrow..

April