A look back at 2010...

Im sitting here as all the kids sleep.. I had a emergency play date today and we were worried about how naps were going to happen but.. THANK GOODNESS it went smooth! all four kids are sleeping along with my friend betsy, Who once again locked her knee so she can't move it :( So I came with braden and brooke to help her around the house and with her kids.. plus.. the kids LOVE playing together :)
 
   So as I sit here I read over my last year in status updates.. I know lame right lol.. But wow.. what a year it has been but I think I say that every year! We have lost a few people and welcomed a new baby :) Its hard to believe that she has only been here less then a year. What a big girl she is :) and I moved home.. who saw that coming not me! Over all I leave this year with peace... I am happy.. I have amazing family and Great friends and a new boyfriend who all support me in every way possible. What ever choice I make in my life I always feel that I have there support whatever it is. I know they all don't agree with everything I do but I always have them to back me up.
    This year I think was a year of choices and decisions .. I found out who really are my friends and who are just there to.. be there but not really care. As we grow we loose and gain friends that make us who we are today. I can only think of a few friends who stick with me threw all.. Whatever choices I make they stand strong.. My friend Brianna has done that hands down no matter what She is so amazing I don't know who I would be without her by my side. I moved 45 min away from my friends and I can't believe how strong my ties are with some of them. I am really suprised how much they try and stay connected with me :) I love it and even though I feel I don't show it as I should I am so blessed and thankfull for them. As I moved to holland I welcomed some old friendships and some new friendships into my life. Amber has been a old friendship that has recendled into a new friendship, we try our hardest to make time for each other in our busy lives!  Another is Betsy.. What would I do with out here! she is a new friendship that in a matter of hours became strong as ever. Week by week we learn more about each other and our famlies  its funny how much we connect... We learned just recently that our families know each other and have known each other for years! I personally think god ment for us to run into each other at VI ..

          David.. He is the new guy.. but old relationship.. We dated once before when I was just out of high school but broke up because of college and distance.. but now.. its new and fun and we click so well I can't express how thankful I am for him either!  We started our relationship off differnt then any other one ive ever had and I like that. I like that things are slow and we are just enjoying what we have without the pressure of life intertwining it. He is always there for me and I am for him. No matter day or night we are a text or phone call away and we both understand that. He makes me happy and I am blessed to have him here!

    My Family.. Without my mothers support I don't know how I would do things in life, she is such an amazing person and has raised her children so well, We can always depend on each other as we can on her as well. We have a big family and we are always in each other business I always say we are the big Italian family lol.. but we are all white lol. Every year I get more and more thankful for them and I know I take them for granted most times but deep down I know I am so lucky to have a family like mine.

   So last night I wrapped gifts!.. and wrapped.. and wrapped and wrapped.. holy cow... 4 hours passed and hardly made a dent in it. I was wrapping for my mom and she bought for all 6 of her kids.. and 7 grandkids.. plus my grandmas and aunt.. Its alot of presents that is for sure, I am wrapping more tonight and watching an new show on mtv.. I can't remember what its called.. Anyway I feel like I have typed a novel lol so im getting off here!  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays if I don't get back on before!

A poem to get me past the holidays :)

IM SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS THIS YEAR

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below.
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear;
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart.
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
I cannot tell you of the splendor or the peace inside this place
Can you imagine Christmas with our Savior, face to face?

I will ask him to light your spirit as I tell him of your love.
So then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above.
So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Unanswered prayers

Hey all,

Im sitting here and the kids are sleeping, im watching a movie called unanswered prayers and it made me think.. Unanswered prayers this falls into everyday life doesn't it?   I mean no one knows how life is supposed to go until its finished. This year it has become more apparent then ever. have you ever stepped out of yourself and looked at your life? What are some unanswered prayers.. People in my life have become my unanswered prayers.. I think at least.

I am trying to get into the christmas spirit and .. its HARD this is the first year but.. it will happen sooner or later..

So the last time I bloged we were headed to the Nut Cracker and the griffens game..

Nut Cracker was..AMAZING! i LOVED IT.. I mean honestly doesn't every girl wish she was a balirina? I know I do :) It was so cute I loved it. We had AMAZING seats and the view was awesome.. not so much for david.. he had a lady sitting infront of him.. and her fro took up most of his view lol it was pretty funny. Then we went home and I changed for the hockey game

I was overly surprised about the hockey game, I enjoyed it so much! I actually got side tracked a few times because there was a couple next to me .. they had to of been on there first date lol.. they were talking about all the basics of like.. life lol.. so what do you do for fun.. and wii sports..  so I driffed on to there conversation at times lol.. AND.. it seemed like everytime the griffins scored I missed it.. lol.. so that became the joke..  I drove my friend mini van so the guys could drink.. and oh man did they drink! but we all had fun and I would totally do it again in a heart beat!

Since then i have just been working.. I went on another date...  I had the WORST day that day and he made me go out.. okay didn't make me but really wanted to.. and it cheered me up!

i went christmas shopping and I think I did well this year  but we will see :)

Life is looking up, finally.. Julia is going to be seven this week and  christmas is in like a week and then its brookes first birthday.. she is going to  be a year! what?!?!? Where did the time go.. 

Time..

So I have been trying to get to know David for... a few weeks now and its really hard because I work 2nd shift and he works 3rd.. HOW DOES ANYONE DO IT.. we get.. maybe one day to hang out.. and thats if we are lucky because I am working 7 days a week and he has the weekend but with him sleeping during the day and me working its really hard.. I am not sure how we are going to do it.

Last week I went to the nut cracker and LOVED IT! It was amazing and we had amazing seats I was so happy the ballet was beautiful!

THEN.. we went to my first hockey game and I had a blast! I never would have thought I would enjoy hockey but it was fun I would totally go again for sure! There is another game friday but.. I have to work of course so im not going :( and there are dollar beers! what?! alwell there well be other times. Griffins lost.. sadly but it was still fun.. who would have thought that the hockey players could be so mean lol.. they were so rough it was funny at times.. I had so much fun

Well the inevitable happened and i got sick.. i hope I am almost done.. I have a horrible cough but thats about it  which I am very thankful for.

I run to you

So, I am super excited.. I lost 20 pounds.. that is like.. a 2 year old.. lol I lost 20 pounds in 3 months? WHAT wait.. can I say it again.. I LOST A TODDLER OFF MY BODY! well if that sentence doesn't catch someones attention I don't know what will lol

So tomorrow I am going to see the nut cracker ballet and go to a hockey game.. I am officially a hockey virgin.. so that should be fun! im excited.. Im going with david.. and another couple.. anyway..

I LOST 2O POUNDS..

December..

Wow, Could it really be.. DECEMBER already?!?, December holds many things for me, It starts every years with life and death, December 1 my grand father passed away last year and I guess you could say you don't know how much you love someone till there gone. My heart has a piece missing and I can feel the pain from it. I miss him dearly and its hard to think back to last year. I can remember a few weeks before this day I was preparing myself for his death, I had the chance to go and see him but as I am I said no and decided to remember him as he was.. now as what he had become. He was very sick and ill and I didn't want that to be the last memory I had of my grandfather. He is/was a great man and I will for always hold a spot in my heart for him as much as it aches..  I can remember almost driving up there because I thought he was going to pass and I decided not to.. instead I stopped on the side of the road and broke down, I needed to do that.. Just be pissed.. be mad.. be sad.. and break down that wall. In my eyes my grandfather was never going to die.. He was always there.. healthy happy and himself, He was always going to be there and he left us.. we were left to pick up our hearts and clean up our mess of loss and sadness. So yesterday was the one year "anniversary" of his passing.. and I think as a family was pushed it aside and he wouldn't let us.. he was all around us that day. he made sure we knew was there. My mom and I were moving stuff around the living room and I came across the dvd of photos of him.. and i couldn't stop staring at it, He was so amazing..  Also, my sister erica had a repair man coming over to fix her water heating and as the man pulls up to the house her daughter (4 years old) yells out.. ITS GRANDPA.. GRANDPA MORRY HE IS HERE and my sister said.. hunny no.. he isn't here and she said yes mom look look he is he came to our house she even ran up to him and hugged him and my sister had to sit her down and tell her that he died.. and to remember he is in heaven.. my niece continued with the fact that no he is here and he just came back from the nursing home because he is better.. now how.. out of all days would she do this.. the one year mark of his death she would see my grandfather.. It almost brought me to tears.. hearing about it.. I miss him dearly More then I ever thought I could miss someone.

now onto the day of life.. My nephew turned 4 yesterday.. he is our miracle child... He was born 4 years ago with all of his intestines out of his body, He was touch and go for a while, it wasn't always perfect but he made a choice to be strong and to make it.. we love him so much and I can't believe it been 4 years.. he is such a big boy! I love him to pieces.

AND NOW

To soon to move on?

so the last post I had on here was about crazy bounce.. that was so funny right? lol.. Anyway so since then thanks giving has come and gone. We weren't going to do anything as a family because it was only going to be my sister my parents and I but... My mom cooked and fed for a army.. overbord alittle but she wanted the whole thanksgiving feeling so she did. After thanksgiving was.... BLACK FRIDAY I took this year off and stayed home with the kids... There wasn't anything I HAD to have so I stayed back and went shopping friDAY .
   So that leads me to Friday, My guy interest and I spent the day shopping which I have to admit that I was super nerves about that because it was a full day to get to know each other and for me thats a huge deal... It went way better then expected and that night we both decided to make us exclusive with out the boyfriend/girlfriend title. It works for him and I but other people have questions.. they don't get it.. and honestly im not sure how to explain it.. In my words we are getting to know each other we are STARTING  a relationship but we aren't looking outside of us for a relationship. So .. is it to soon? its been 2 months since jon and I split I honestly don't know. I do now that me and david are taking it slow and if it doesn't work out thats fine but I would live to give it a try :)

so back to the shopping!!!! I bought this amazing purse from new york and company... I LOVE PURSES! some people love shoes.. I love purses! so I was super excited that when I walked in everything was half off... I was looking around and saw this purse from across the store and I was like ... I want that.. so I got it.. and a few other gifts for friends and family.. David bought a new wardrobe no joke he really took advantage of the deals, but there were some deals you couldn't pass up like 15 dollar jeans at old navy what?!?

yesterday my friend had a baby shower and that was fun, I had bought her a pink and brown bouncy seat and made a diaper cake!!! loved the diaper cake. It turned out great!

ITS A FAT GIRL AND A BABY!

Another day has come and passed, Today was a pretty huge on for me, I haven't been sleeping lately so I stayed up and talked with some friends till 4am and then went to sleep and woke up at 9am. I had alot of things to do today so I had my self motivated as soon as I woke up. I had to go to the bank, a few stores getting things ready for the diaper cake I was making for a friend ( TURNED OUT AMAZING!). I packed my nephew up and dragged him with.. he loved it he loves going bye bye with anyone. So we went to the bank and got a sucker of course! then stopped by a friends hi for a quick hi! and went on with our day.

    After I came home and laid the kids down for a nap I made my diaper cake.. I Can't wait to post pictures but I can't just yet ( I don't want her to see) My mom came home today she has been gone for a week now, It  was strange to have her gone, My parents went to the cabin to go hunting.. well my mom read trashy novels and my dad went hunting. anyway.. off subject... story of my life lol!

I spent the night taking my 3 nieces ages 2,4,7 to crazy bounce.. geesh.. well I spent the evening with them. I took them for dinner then the mall then crazy bounce and out for cookies after :) can you say crazy! lol there had to of been 50-60 kids at this crazy bounce and .. as people see im not the smallest person in the world.. and i was carrying this almost 2 year old up the inflatable slides.. can you say WORK OUT! .. not to mention the boys behind me yelling.. "ITS A FAT GIRL AND A BABY.. ITS GUNNA BE A WHILE" honestly.. where are there parents and what are they teaching there kids to have them think its okay for them to say something.. I was like.. WHAT! anyway.. overall the night was good. Tomorrow I'm going to clean.. and relax I'm so ready for a day to MYSELF!

Well, I'm not sure who reads this.. if anyone does.. I hope you have a great night!

Daylight brings sunshine and pushes sadness away,  When the sun rises I am greatful for everything I have, I have family friends a job a roof over my head and I have support, not many people have all of those. Today I have my 2 nieces over and im watching my nephew and niece so my sister can nap because she works 2nd shift and there working 12 hours.. thats alot!  here is a photo of my family.. hope you guys are having a great day and enjoy the last few days of fall :(

A breath of fresh air

Hi, I'm a new blogger, I was introduced to doing this a few months ago but didn't feel like I had much to write about. I have recently moved home and now live with my parents after 6 years of being out of the home. I just broke off a 4 year relationship.. just walked away. I am not sure what I'm doing or really how I'm doing things I am living on the seat of my pants per say and seeing what life has for me.

I am a 23 year old who is very excited to close a chapter in my life and open a new one. I work full time as a nanny for my sister and its probably one of the most amazing and rewarding jobs I have had. I used to work full time as a director in a childcare center and quit that job due to distance of driving and conflict of interest.

I want to go back to school and start completely FRESH but everything takes time and that's what I need to do .. is start FRESH probably one of the hardest things I will do in my life. I don't know what I'm doing and I'm new to this whole thing so hang in there and enjoy what I write I guess.

So as nights fall I call it my "emo" time. I put the kids to bed.. clean up the house and dwell on my day..and life, sometimes I youtube sad songs and cry, but that's where I am and it will pass but anyway.. I'm ranting.. but the song I was listening to was call here comes goodbye from rascal flatts there was a saying a old man had said before the song that made me think. he said "sometime life feels like chapters of goodbyes", I thought that was sweet and so true, I have lost so many people in my life. My mom has lost her 2 close friends already .. my grandfather,both grandmothers,best friend,cousin,friends from school.. so doesn't life seem like its always goodbyes, I know some people say its a see you later but really.. see you alot later, Amy died when she was 10 really?!? later? sometimes its just not fair.

anyway, here are some rantings from me, Not sure if anyone is going to read it but its here for anyone to have the chance to.

another day, another time.
april